Wednesday, September 16, 2009

There is a gnome in all of us

A man with the voice of Bela B. once told me one of those solid truths: Life ain't always fair.
I every sense of the word. Sometimes it's dark, it's ugly, it's a hairy little wart-ridden gnome throwing stones at you for no good reason. Just because it can.
Today my landlady came round as I will be moving to a new place shortly (YEAY!!!) and she wanted to have a look at the place. (Actually she wanted to show it to peolple interested in renting it, but apparently nobody WAS interested...).
It didn't take long for her to start throwing insults at me, being respectless and generally treating me like a five year old retard. She's only about four feet tall, but she must be the single most evil and poisonous woman in the world. (For reasons of not wanting to be sued out of my wits, lets call her Mrs P.T. O'Knee)
She didn't even look at me when she told me how dirty the place was (There is some dust on the doors but hello! I'm still living here and I WILL clean the place before I leave....) She ordered me to paint the walls before I leave (which was the plan all along) and generally was just a real pain in the bum for no good reason.
And I got to thinking of just how easy life could be if this woman was anywhere near able to behave in a normal, friendly way. But the fact is: she isn't. And she will make my life a lot more difficult before my stay in this house comes to an end and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it.
The little ugly gnome is throwing its little ugly stones and maybe it is trying to teach me something I just haven't quite figured out yet. Something about perseverence and growing with obsacles. Or maybe someone is keeping a score and the more stones I can take the more points I get and maybe, who knows, at the end I will win a washing machine or a set of professional kitchen knives. (A use for which comes to mind immediately when I think of Mrs O'Knee...)
Pondering this theory and going down Kurf├╝rstenstrasse on my shiny new bike I passed some of the most ugly ass hookers I have seen in my life. Ever. (And in plain afternoon light! Do the hookers lined along the street get more beautiful as darkness approaches? That does not make any sense at all! It should be the other way round!)
And I realized that we all have stone throwing gnomes ... but some of them use bigger and more jagged stones than others.
And that's also a good thing about life: Sometimes, when she's in a good mood, she gives you sunshine after the rain. In only a few weeks from now I will be living in a new place with a nicer landlord (because there cannot possibly be a worse one) with the most adorable creature of a man in the world and not have to waste a single thought on Mrs O'Knee ever again in my life. Seems my gnome is ready to exchange stones for flowers...