There's a new man in my life

Or at least, he hopes to become one in another 20 years' time.
The deliquent is five years old and the son of Raquel's aunt's neighbour's friend or something like that.
Now the lady in question, Rosmarie, is from Paraguay while her husband, Oliver, is from Aschaffenburg and as German as you can get, chequered shirts and all. A deadly mix! And as the kiddo is german-paraguayan, his mother insisted on a long name and his dad on a german one, as they used to live in Germany until three years ago. Anyways, the parents settled for the name "Karl-Christof", and you can literally hear the hyphen. The poor devil. And to make maters worse and in accordance to the custom in Paraguay, he is constantly adressed by his full name. Shidde, die arme Sau...so werden Psychopaten gemacht.
Carlito, as I, for sanity's sake, have come to call him, speaks spanish, german and english. In theory that is. Not to me, though. I have been looking after him for over a week now and he didn't say a single word to me. Also his only german reference is his dad so the kid grows up to speak some kind of westfraenkisch believing that this is how people speak. Also he hasn't quite gotten his head round the difference between "R" and "L". Au Backe.
My job is to pick him up from his nursery in the afternoon and take him to his home. That involves a walk to the busstop which would take any pedestrially challenged granny about five minutes. What can I tell you, it takes us 10.
Karl Christof never walks anything but leasurly and never in a straight line. He picks flowers along the way, walks through people's front gardens and marvels about the ugly guy's lawn mower. He especially likes to do so when it's windy and it rains and all I want to do is get in the bus and home so I can see the second half of the match. He so reminds me of my ex-boyfriend at times (and I can see my readers shudder at this) it scares me.
So we stroll along to the busstop while I carry his stuff and basically talk to myself, because the boy is not to be gotten a reaction of, no matter what I do.
UND DAS MIR!!!! Give me ten Kyle Finlaysons anytime! But this is doing my head in! I'm just glad the what with my genepool, this will not happen to me "in real life".