Those darn avian jobbies, thrice blasted!!!

You know, one of the many fine things about living in this lovely wee gemstone of a new place of mine is that I'm no longer exposed to those BMW 3 guys racing up and down the street at five in the morning (or any time of the day for that matter) playing horsepowered symphonies on the cobblestones louder than the bloody planes going the same way at not much more altitude.

No, those days are past now and in the past they must remain! All I listen to nowadays is the sweet chirping of the birds. They sing for me in the morning, at night and all during the day. They bathe in the puddles on my balcony (gotta have this drain fixed some time) and try to build their nests in Erik Schmitt's flower pots. And they sing, sing, sing.... Especially that one that is always sitting on the aerial on the rooftop next to me. I called this one Pilote Instructor.

But, I don't know what it is, but some folk just dinnae ken how tae fucking behave! I just realized that during my absence, one of those little fellows just dipped in for a wee visit, flew into my room and on finding I was not there... seizing the opportunity? expressing his utter protest? I dont know... he went and

SHAT ON MY FUCKING RECORD!!!!*



Right next to Carla Bruni's nice arse. I never thought sparrows could be that rude...!

*PS: Isn't it great that "to shit" is an irregular verb? At some point, someone must have really thought about this issue long and hard: "To shit-shitted-shitted... That just doesn't sound right, we have to come up with something better here...!"
I'd love to know who that guy was and give him a medal or something.