I went to two weddings last weekend. The first one was my friend Jenny's and the second one my cousin Sandra's.
Of course, at the second occasion, I met quite a few members of my beloved and extensive family. (By the way, welcome to the clan again, Tom. Don't pretend you didn't know what you got yourself into!)
Anyways, Sandra being my age, three months older to be exact, and her and me being the two most probable candidates for great-grand children, nieces and nephews, and after my most favourite topic of conversation was done and over with ("So, how long till you finish your studies??"), it didn't take the aunties long to get to my second most favourite subject for conversation:
"And when will YOU get married? Your biological clock is tickin', dontcherknow, and the longer you wait the more difficult it will be for you to find a husband."
I shouldn't take it all too seriously, I know, because all Aunty Marion ever does is wind me up about fuck all and my Granny, well, I love her a lot, but she's getting weird and startet to treat me like some unsellable item ONE MONTH after Jo and I had split up, so I took it lightly and fired back along the lines of
"Well, for MY wedding, all you shrapnels can start brushing up their English again, because I will marry in Scotland and there you go that's settled then!"
But after the fourteenth reference to my biological clock ("Haha, I can't even HEAR it tickin anymore!"), I started to get pissed off and lay a curse on all of them obnoxious aunts and uncles.
And last night I dreamt that I was out shopping to get some babies' clothes and a kilt.
My psycho-analyst friend Kristina told me I don't need a psycho-analist to analyse THAT!
I hope the curse works well...
2 comments:
and all this time I thought you had a bomb ticking inside ya... oh hen, dont fret boot it, aye?... although we ALL know that the future of humanity depends on YOU having kiddies, you know
well, someone HAS to put some sense into the gene pool, don't they. I mean NONsense...!
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