Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Things I definitely definitely WON'T miss (part two)

The Liverpool accent, coming towards me from all angles as soon as I switch on the TV. They don't close their vowels EVER!, they put diphtongs where there really shouldn't be any, they even invent totally new ones, juhuu! it sounds like a drunkard with a cold AND his mouth full of marshmallows or somebody else's cock mocking the english language. I's doin' me 'ead in!! "10.33 pee aeaem. Muost uf the haaousemeeaates are in the kitchaen..." Is that the punishment for watching big brother? Well, sometimes the punishment don't seem to fit the crime.
The only person to get away with it is Paul O'Grady,

an elderly ex-transvestite with a workday afternoon TV show and a thing for lap dogs. Because, let's be honest, strange and annoying is exactly the way someone like that should talk.

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